Teh Wozzinator

well, i didn't like this one as much...mainly cuz of the language...um...yeah...you could edit plenty of that out and make this a lot better

hmm...aet...this was awesome. lol. i think my favorite was the first, but this was great (loved the end of the crayolla part too, that was funny). and the chinese knock-off. ...

really good, altho it's a bit confusing. i like this part better than the first...lol

the only problem i really noticed right now is that you switch being present and past tense a bit. interesting story, i'll read more

wow, as with your last poem I read (the rose poem), it's really good. very smoothly written and meaningful

You need to space between paragraphs, including dialogue. As soon as you do that, I will crit :D k, i did it!

You need to space between paragraphs, including dialogue. As soon as you do that, I will crit :D sorry, it has three spaces before each new paragraph on word, and ...

not bad...a bit confusing, but good message

oh wait, there was one thing i wanted to say: it seems like the thorn is a good thing, but then it says "all the misery and strife". that kind ...

very good. you put the rhymes together really well, and it's a fun poem that has good meaning. (and i'm not a huge fan of poetry! :D )

wow, i don't usually like poetry (it seems like a poem, even if it doesnt rhyme. is it??) much, but this is really good work. nothing needs editing. i pretty ...

Hey everyone...i wrote this chapter of the story a long time ago, so some of the wording isn't that good, but i liked the plot and i really like what ...

I'm not sure if the others have picked up on these but i'll stop by and add a few points. :arrow: You introduce a character and describe every part of ...

haha, you'd know wouldn't you Aet lololol Er. (shhhhhh!) :lol: Though actually, I started when I was twelve, but still, I know there are 11-year-old peoples who are "good with ...

I think it's an interesting concept. Computer hacking wizards? Beautiful. That being said, I think there's a lot of things that could be improved. The dialogue seems stiff and unnatural, ...